Dealing With Death a Personal Perspective

First of all, my condolences to you and your loved ones. Even though death is inevitable and we all know that it is going to happen some day to everyone – we are never fully prepared for the depth of emotions that losing our loved one brings.
If the death is unexpected, it will be a huge shock. The causes of unexpected deaths are wide and varied, but irrespective of the cause – the fact is that you will not be ready for it. Those that are left behind often feel stunned, and suddenly find themselves living in a surreal world without their loved one.
At the other end of the spectrum, an expected death brings different emotions. Even though you are prepared for it and have said all that you can say, including your goodbyes, it doesn’t make it any easier. And often with expected death comes the additional pain of having to witness your loved one experience pain and suffering. Often the lead up to death can be excruciatingly painful and stressful to all those involved, so your loved one’s passing could result in an immense feeling of relief.
Often those that are bereaved will enter “survival mode”. I would describe this as a period of “existence”. You do what you have to do to get by. You could describe this period as being robotic, living on auto pilot. You follow routines where you can, but ultimately you are just existing… doing what you have to, to survive the pain. There are days where your pain manifests itself physically in your chest, as though your heart really is breaking. And there are days where you feel so very numb, bewildered even, like nothing can penetrate the bubble that you are living in.